Thinner is better?

Whenever I go to the mall, I can't help but stare on the widescreen LCD tvs that are on display in appliance stores. I'm particularly interested with the Bravia units offered by Sony. Every time I see those big, super fine, high definition, LCD units, I suddenly see myself daydreaming of what It's like to have it at home and just consume my day off watching my favorite shows and anime dvds.

Well, the dilemma is, they are pretty expensive. I still can't afford it at the moment but I still see myself purchasing a 50inch model in the near future, filling up my own satisfaction.

Or is it worth it?

Here are some of my worries. Will cable companies provide a High Definition feeds by the time I purchase the unit? Where will I put it? (Cause I may not have a bigger space and still be living in a 20 square meter studio unit.) Or worse, what if by then, a better model will be introduced right after I bought the Bravia?

A possibility, especially that thing about a new product.

Why is it so? Because Sony has promised to introduce OLED TV this year (though Samsung doubted it).

What is OLED TV?

Here are some information from the different sites I visited through Google.

Basically means as "Organic Light Emitting Diode TV".

OLEDs are a flat display technology, made by placing a series of organic thin films between two conductors. When electrical current is applied, a bright light is emitted.

Because OLEDs produce (emit) light they do not require a backlight. This means that OLEDs can be made very thin and very power efficient when compared to LCD (Which do require a white backlight), and also it might be possible to create efficient white lighting from OLEDs.

So what does it means?

OLED's advantages are having a more "exciting displays" (ultra-thin, flexible even transparent displays), low power consumption (which make it more environmental friendly), greater brightness, better durability and lighter weight.

Very promising eh? Imagine an acetate functioning as a screen. It's like one step to the matrix technology. Today, we can find small organic displays in many types of devices like cell phones, A/V players, car audio systems, digital cameras and PDAs. Currently, building a large sized OLED display is hard and it will take some time before companies are able to do it economically. Though Sony has already launched their prototypes of larger OLED screens in Japan and claimed to make an 11inch unit available in the market by the end of 2007, Samsung contradict it and stated that it does not believed that Sony will be able to deliver its promise by then.

But whether it will be available or not, I can say that it is still with the consumer's satisfaction that will weigh the pith of this invention. A consumer like me whose only desire is to make the most of the purchase I spent with the product.

A man’s quest for fatherhood

I know he will be surprised to read this. He has often asked me if he was a good father. And every time, I pause and become uncertain of the answer. Not that I’m a woman, single and do not have children yet.

He is a father of two. His daughter turned six last week, while his son will turn five next month. He got married at 24, and was separated from his wife four years later. The marriage was far from perfect, and their differences made them decide to seek separate fates. After the separation, he seldom saw his children. In fact, the last time he was able to visit his children was almost two years ago.

It’s painful for a father not to see his children, send them to school, hear their voices, play with them and tuck them in bed. Each day that passes is filled with emptiness with no end.

He then realized that he should search inwards if he ever hoped to be reunited with his kids again. Money was one of the main reasons for the separation, and so he found a job. He worked hard, grabbed every opportunity that came his way. Failure shadowed him constantly, but he would not stop.

At work, he used his painful experiences as motivation. For him, the hardest part of life had already happened. It was time to live a new life.

Before long, he became a team leader at the workplace. He earned the trust and confidence of his superiors, and the respect of his peers. His colleagues are aware of his painful past, and they are only too happy for what this man has become.

He has managed to turn his life around almost completely. Yet, there is still that one important part missing to make the circle complete: His children. Soon, he will reveal himself to them, show them what he has become, and for whom he has done all these changes for. Soon, he vows, he will finally make them feel the love and care he has kept in his heart all these years.

So now, whenever he asks me if he was a good father, all I can answer is for him to look at himself. I believe fatherhood is not just the time a father spends with his children, or the things he is able to give them. It’s also about what a man has become to be a father to his children.

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This article was published in Philippine Daily Inquirer for Father's Day Supplement on June 17, 2007

what i think about yuri

Yuri is very friendly, warm, funny at times and very loving. He's also very cute and cuddly. I like his big round eyes, his cute little pink tongue and his little nose that always sniffs. I like every inch of him. Not just because he's my dog. Not just because he's my companion. It's because he is my bestfriend.

But I am not Yuri's only bestfriend. Hope its only in my thoughts that Yuri might not be that loyal to me because there are some things that I can't give him that other people can. I just hope I'm wrong about this.

I'd been around dogs for as long as I can remember. Maybe I'm just three of four years old when I first had my puppy to take care of. Ever since, I never lived without a dog beside me. So I can say that I know how to properly raise them based on all the experiences I had.

But why do I doubt myself right now regarding caring for Yuri?

Because this is the first time that I'm sharing my bestfriend with someone else. And honestly, I'm not that at ease with the situation. For oftentimes, there are contradictions between how I take care Yuri with how others treat him. Right now, I can already see the results in Yuri's behavior.

Before, Yuri can still differentiate a stranger from those who are not. Though Yuri is sociable by nature, he used to have this instinct to be careful. But now, he will wag his tail to anyone he met and just give his trust right away. This makes me really worried especially when I heard about the "dognapping" incidents that taken place to almost everywhere. Where toy dogs like Yuri are often the target for abduction. An officemate too once said that Yuri is "dognapabble" cause he is really kind, which made me a lot worried for his safety.

Second is, Yuri used to love food so much. The sound of ripping plastics are already delicious to him. He can consume a big bag of "Holistic Recipe" dog food in less than a month. Even found vitamins a yummy dessert. But now, he will just eat what he wants. And what he wanted is just "canned dog food". For me to compare it with "Holistic", it's less nutritious and even more expensive. Plus, the fact that it is "canned" which makes it more unhealthy for him. We still have to pretend that we're eating his food or he will not taste it at all.

I noticed too that Yuri would just do whatever he wanted to do. Yes, he's playful, very active and fun. But it’s different from being a "disciplined active dog". Now, he never listens. Everything is play for him. Which, in reality, makes him vulnerable to the outside world. Made him not a survivor and not be able to fully develop his instincts to differentiate dangerous things from the one he can actually play.

Yuri is a good dog. Actually, a very very good dog. One of the best bestfriends I've ever had. But it doesn't mean that he can learn things by himself. To know what is good and what is bad for him. Actually, he is very lucky to have so many people that loves him. And I really really appreciate it and I'm also very thankful. But it is still our responsibility to mold him the right way and not for the way where we can see immediate result or answers to his immediate needs. We need to prepare him too for his long journey and old age.

We want Yuri to be with us for as long as we want. Life is not just a happy time. Same with a dog's life. Please help me make him realize what life is about.

Together, let's make him an independent, strong and a "survivor Yuri". With all his already qualities, Yuri will surely be one of the greatest bestfriend ever, if not the greatest dog in the world.

For when that happened, I can say that he lived his doggy life as how it should be. And we're lucky enough to have him spend it with us.

Revenge

Revenge? Good or bad? Most of the people will say its bad. I think even Mr. Webster will say it is. But for me, I think it depends. Depending on the reason why you want to have it.

Oftentimes, we felt to resort to revenge because we can’t achieve justice. Its not simply to feel good that the person involve will have his lesson for the harm that he had caused. I believe that revenge will be his eye opener. Yes, it will be a lesson learned. Not to cause pain. For a person to realize the consequence of his actions.

Will I practice revenge? I think so. But neither for my own satisfaction nor making myself feels at peace or for that person to suffer. I’ll dedicate revenge for all the people who have gone through the distress caused by this unfortunate "craziness". So that the person behind this torment will realized that there is this one person who is not afraid for his violated rights to finally be heard and be stated.

It’s just simple justice.

what i do everyday

movies.
i call myself as the "movie editor". my officemates know why.

coffee.
i drink it whenever i feel sleepy, hungry and bored. (basically when i have nothing to do...)

forums.
when i need someone not serious to talk to.

manga.
when i want to laugh and feed my imagination.

illustration.
whenever im in the mood. it's hard for me to draw something when i have no inspiration.

photography.
oh, how i hope i can do this everyday. so, i just plan ahead on shooting my subjects.

cook.
to manage my budget and escape from the sin of fastfoods eating.

other work.
yep, doing someone's work. (this one i really hate)

chatting.
to keep my communication with my very important one.

net surfing.
just to feel away from my cubicle.

blogging.
when i need to release my frustrations, excitement or anything else.

sleeping.
just to escape from everything.

The hardest first step

Planning. I'd been really interested in planning. Like when I was still in college and was assigned to be the project leader of conceptualizing a marketing campaign for a product that caters with the senior market. And we got a very good grade after the presentation for that AdPrac group project. That time, I felt really proud. Once again, I have proven not only to my professor and classmates but especially to myself that I can be an effective leader.

And that was a few years back.

Now, I'm planning again. Not for a marketing campaign, not for an AdPrac project, not even for brand collaterals. Right now, I am planning for myself. Yes, you read it right. Cause unlike before, currently, I'm not sure where’s my career path is really going to.

To give you an idea, I have a stable job. Earning compensation that is more than enough to sustain the rent, other monthly bills, fine dining, weekend movies and a big investment. I am currently employed in one of the top companies here. If you're going to look at it, there's nothing I could really ask for more. That is, if you are going to just look on the practical side.

But why am I still not that at ease with my current situation?

Good question.

Here's the reason why. Because I have forgotten that I am a planner. To be honest, that planner has always been inside of me. That drive to create campaigns, that eagerness to make effective catch lines, those brainstormings and brilliant ideas, that person who was once a leader. It never leaves me. It just happened that I don't have opportunities right now. Enough ways to show this side of me. Enough chance to prove my worth.

Or do I just limit myself? Maybe... But why?

Thinking about it, I realized that if that chance will not be given to me, I think I better find it myself. If those opportunities are really difficult for me to have, I will make my own opportunity. And this search should start right now.

This will be my gameplan. For my goals. For my life. A search for my forgotten self.

This blog will start the blueprint of my plans. The planner will be revived. Goals will be realized soon.

And it will all begin with the hardest first step.

It is, collecting my old self.

pasahero sa dyipni

For my second entry, I found this "bloggie" when i dig my "kalat sa desktop". I wrote this one a few years back.

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August 15, 2003

As usual, tuwing tanghali, nakasakay na naman ako ng jeep para pumasok sa trabaho. Lagi akong nagbibigay ng 2-hour allowance kasi apat na byahe ako bago makrating dun. Sa may Pritil, pinalad na naman akong makasakay dun sa mga jeep na di pumipila. Kasi inaabot ako ng siyam-siyam pag dun sa may tapat ng Puregold ako sumakay. Napansin ko sa may jeep na may dalawang babae na sobra lakas magkwentuhan. Nagkataon na sa tapat pa nila ako umupo, yung malapit sa may dulong babaan. Naintriga ako sa pinaguusapan nila kaya tahimik ko silang pinakinggan.

"Alam mo, kahit anong gawin mo, kasalanan pa rin yon. Madulas ka na sa kung madulas pero sigurado na mainit ka na rin sa pulis" sabi nun isang mas nakatatandang babae na ipagpalagay na nating Loring ang pangalan. "Pero maliit lang naman yun ginawa ko" pagtatangol nun kasama niya na tinawag ko na lang sa pangalang Minda.

Medyo nagsimulang lumakas yung usapan nila kaya yung ibang pasahero na kasakay namin e napatingin na rin. Kaya lang nun pinagmasdan ko ulit sina Loring at Minda, wala silang pakialam at patuloy na nag-usap.

May kinalalaman sa droga yung pinaguusapan nila. Di malinaw sa akin pro alam kong medyo kumplikado yung sitwasyon. Pero sa paraaan ng kanilang pag-uusap, parang ang mga bagay na ito ay pangkaraniwan na lang sa kanila at talagang inaasahang mangyari. Ganun daw talaga. Madaling pagkakitaan ang bawal lalo na kung hirap ka sa buhay. Madaling alternatibo sa pagkita ang mga bagay na di naayon sa batas. Ano ba naman daw ang kaso sa paggawa nun e marami naman daw ganun na tao. Di daw sila nag-iisa at sumasabay daw lang sila sa agos. Para bang nakikiuso.

"Malulusutan din ang lahat. Di ka na ba nasanay?" dagdag ni Aling Loring. "May mga bagay na nagagawa na sa panahon ngayon kahit na isipin mo na di ito nararapat." Ang tangi na lang daw nila magagawa ay wag mapatalo at makipagsabayan sa nagagawa ng iba upang di mag mukhang lalong kawawa.

Sa aking pakikinig, nalaman ko na hindi pala naniniwala si Aling Loring sa balita, lalo na sa mga dyaryo. Sabi nya, nababayaran daw ang mga reporter para di lumabas yun mga anomalya ng isang kilalang tao. Sinabi nya yun matapos nyang pagtawanan si Aling Minda nun sabuhin nyang bilib siya kay GMA. Napanood daw kasi ni Aling Minda sa TV na mabait daw si GMA kya iboboto nya ito kung tumakbo man ulit. Pingatawanan ni Aling Loring na manloloko lang ang media sa pamamgitan ng pagbibigay ng mga halimbawa.

Kilala daw niya yung isang kilalang druglord na isinapelikula na ang buhay. Totoo nga daw drug lord yon at totoong mayaman at maimpluwensya. Pero nun pinanood na niya yun pelikula, nagmukha pa daw itong isang hero sa kabila ng malaking pagkakasala at paglabag sa batas. "Hindi ba’t isang tuwirang pagsisinungaling yon?" ang malakas pa niyang pagkakasabi.

May isa pa daw. Yung isang congressman na dati e namimili ng boto. Bawat sobre na binigay nya kung saan nakasulat yung pangalan nito ay may kalakip na limangdaang piso. Syempre nga naman daw, sa isang taong gutom, tatanggapin yon. Limangdaan, wala kang mapupulot sa kalye na ganun kahit maghapon kang yumuko sa bawat kalyeng dadaanan mo sa buong Maynila.

Mas maniwala pa daw siya dun sa mga nagra-rally na pinangakuan nang matitirhan ng isang kandidato at binawi rin nung ito na ang umupo sa pwesto. Isa daw kasi siya dun sa libo-libonng naloko nung sinungaling na yon.

Bilib na bilib namang nakikinig sa sinasabi niya si Aling Minda. Nag advise pa nga ito sa kanya na ang tanging balita na pinapanood nya ay yun MGB. Tska yun daw kay Arnold… di pa nga siya sigurado kung tama yung pangalan na sinabi nya e. Basta yun daw yung palabas kung saan may mga taong kumakain ng alupihan.

Kaya daw nyang gawin yon. Basta kahit na anong pagkakakitaan. Yun naman daw ang dahilan kung bakit siya nabubuhay, ang kumita at magkaroon ng kahit konti na mapapakain sa sarili nya. Kaya nga daw di siya nagpamilya. Dahil ayaw nyang maranasan nila ang hirap na nararanasan nya ngayon.

Bigla na silang pumara nun asa may Abad Santos na sila. Napagsabihan pa niya si Aling Minda na daldal ito ng daldal kaya muntik na silang lumampas. Kaya iyon, nagmamdaling binitbit yung baso nilang plastik na may lamang yelo at pilit na sinimot yung konting tubig na natunaw mula don. Nauhaw siguro.

Sa pagbyahe ko nun tanghaling yun, may mga bagay akong natutunan. Ngayon ko napatunayan na lahat talaga tayo ay konektado sa isat’ isa at sa bawat bagay na ginagawa natin ay may kaakibat na epekto sa lahat, kahit dun sa di mo pinapansin at nakakasabay mo lang sa dyip. Yun mga taong pareho mo ang nararamdaman sa tuwing natratrapik ka at binubugahan ng usok ng mga dyip na nauunang umarangkada. Salamat dun sa dalawang naunang pumara na sayang nga lang at di ko na nakilala.

Gone Fishing

As my first blog entry, I decided to post this first article of mine. Yep, im proud of it. heheh...

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You need not spend thousands of pesos just to have fun this summer. Just prepare your own kawil (fishing rod) and ride a fisherman’s boat. The rest will be an exciting escape and an eye-opener, guaranteed.

Everything started with that ride on the jeep—not inside but on top of it beside townsfolk with their bayong, sack of rice, or chicken in hand. You forget to mind the heat of the noontime sun. You even forget that it’s been an hour since the ride started from Poblacion, Nasugbu, to Calayo (one of the 42 barangays that make up Nasugbu town in Batangas).

There is only one jeepney making that single trip from Calayo early in the morning to Poblacion in Nasugbu. Miss this one, and your next trip will literally arrive the next day.

The jeepney arrives in Poblacion just before noontime. The passengers then buy their necessities at the Nasugbu Public Market. By 12, the passengers go back to the jeepney and start the ride back to Calayo. This time, the jeepney carried a few more passengers than when it left Calayo this morning.

As the jeep rumbled along the rough road, we constantly checked if our seats were as secure as our luggage. Despite a rough ride, the view from atop the jeepney had given us a great view of the barrios and natural wonders along the way. Upon arrival at Calayo (literally translated as "very far"), we looked forward to our next adventure: lunch "extraordinaire" of adobo and sardinas at Mang Ambrosio Sevilla’s home. Mang Busyo, fisherman and a long-time resident of Calayo, would be our tour guide, bodyguard and barkada for that day.

Perfect spot
After lunch, we rode on Mang Busyo’s banca and headed for that perfect fishing spot on a shoreline inaccessible by land. There, we built a tent made of tree branches and sack blankets, while some already cast their line into the water. Mang Busyo started a fire and prepared taktakin, steaming hot shellfish soup, while showing us how and where to fish. He said patience is required to catch fish, and one shouldn’t expect what kind of fish to catch, if any would be caught at all. What’s important is the effort.

We started by placing our bait on the kawil’s hook, then cast it to the water. He reminded us to keep the kawil as steady as possible so as not to startle the fish. In our first attempt at fishing, we were "lucky" enough to catch botete, a non-edible blow fish, after 20 minutes of patience and "expecting nothing".

By sunset, though, we had caught a number of fishes good enough for our supper. And we capped our day with an enjoyable swim in the cool, kind waters of the South China Sea. Dinner was served, featuring all our good catch grilled to perfection.

As the bonfire smoldered into the night, we looked forward to the next day’s round of fishing, and dreamed of another big catch in the morning. Another big catch before calling it a day and riding again on Mang Busyo’s boat headed for home this time.

Back on top of that lone jeepney bobbing up and down on dirt roads on our way back from Calayo to Poblacion, a realization likewise bobbed up and down in my mind. Life is like fishing. It takes patience to have a good catch. Things cannot be rushed, and we should wait for the right time to pull out that one string of opportunity that crosses our path, in a journey of life that’s as vast as the ocean.

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This article was published on Philippine Daily Inquirer's Summer Supplement Issue